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On
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Sequential
Context
Table of
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Verbal Coercion
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In a couple of date rape situations, the female victim gave verbal
approval. This was only after
verbal and, in one case, potential physical coercion.
Even in those instances, the perpetrators gave evidence that the
women were consenting begrudgingly and appeared passive throughout the
sexual acts. As Interviewee
10 described it:
She
really liked me, but she didn’t really want to have sex. And, it’s like “Well, why not?”
And she was like “We don’t know each other.” And I told her “Don’t worry about that...
I live right here. We can get to know each other.
I was continually messing with her mind. I convinced her finally to have sex, after basically hounding
her. I was repeatedly asking
for it. She finally just
basically broke down and said “Fine.”
She really didn’t get into it a whole lot....She was just more or
less doing that so I would continue to be with her.
And, it lasted for a couple of weeks after that.
But, of course, I just moved on.
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Besides
providing an example of verbal coercion by this sex offender, the excerpt
above demonstrates how his promise that “We can get to know each
other” lacked sincerity, as Interviewee 10 admitted that after a brief
time (i.e., two weeks) he “moved on.”
This is a glaring illustration of a tendency of the date
rapists in my dissertation study, namely a lack of interest and/or commitment to long-term
relationships with their female victims.
Threat of Physical
Coercion
Then,
I’m like “Whoa, what’s up? Do
you want to do this or not?” Said
“I got protection.” For a
while, she didn’t say nothin’.
I
was like “What’s up? You
gonna do it or what?” She
said, “I don’t care.” So,
I go ahead. . . . Her face was like ... now I can see that her face was
like “No ... no.” But, I know that I have no choice.
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This
date rapist relied on his “reputation of bein’ out there wild” in
the local neighborhood, along with his aggressive language and vocal tone,
to create fear in the female victim.
Interviewee 12 admitted to this approach and interpreted the
connotations of language common within his and her neighborhood.
He explained:
It
was like “What’s up? Do
you wanna do this or not?” You
know? Well, on the streets,
that’s like an aggressive way.
If I say “So what’s up? Do you wanna do this or not," it’s like
“You’re gonna do this or else.”
Know what I mean? People take it like that....That’s why she went ahead and
went with all the sex things.
When
discussing the victim’s involvement in sexual intercourse, the assailant
recalled:
This
girl didn’t do nuthin'.
Nuthin’.
She just laid there. Like,
“OK, if I touch him or something . . .”... It was like she was scared,
you know?
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Like
all sex offenders profiled on this website, Interviewee 12 was indifferent
to the emotional impact of the date rape event on his female victim.
His priority was to fulfill his sexual desires.
He did not for a moment consider the potential psychological or
physical traumas the unwanted sexual act might inflict on the woman.
"Consent"
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This was evident in all of the following cases.
For instance, Interviewee 2 recalled the woman’s nonverbal
approval of sex: “That’s
when she more or less said, ‘OK, I’ll lay my head down on the
pillow.’ She didn’t say
that. She just did it.” Due to the victim’s passive demeanor during sexual
intercourse, the informant (Interviewee 2) acknowledged:
She
didn’t come, and I didn’t come, and to achieve sexual orgasm, I might
have had to keep her in bed by force.
I mean, just, you know, “OK, you’re going to lay here and
we’re going to screw until I come.”
And that’s not something that I wanted to do.
It was obvious that she didn’t want to screw.
She didn’t want to have sex.
Typically Lacked "Highly Forceful Physical Assault"
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As
seen in most of the date rape accounts, the sex offender never used highly
forceful physical assault. My
impression was that this form of aggression would have had legal
implications and would have created a negative self-esteem-related
expectation where the man had to force the woman to have sex with him.
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Furthermore, I received the impression from date rapists in the
study that they assumed their female victims would get into the romantic
mood after the sex act proceeded.
Interviewee
2 remarked: “I was hoping
that she would...put some life into it.
And she disappointed me.
I
thought, ‘Well, this girl is, she’s had a few drinks and she’s gonna
enjoy this. We’re going to
have a good time.’”
Another perpetrator discussed a similar scenario.
Interviewee 11 recounted:
I
put arms around her, touched her, began to kiss her, became more and more
familiar and began touching her in sensitive areas like her breasts and
stuff like that. She
attempted to get [me] to stop; she sort of pushed me back.
She accused me of "starting this again," and...she was
correct. So, at that point, I
think to some degree, she gave in.
Finally,
she just stopped grabbing at my hand and I just went ahead and undressed
her. And she just more or
less went along with the program after that.
Victim's
Nonverbal Cues of Disapproval
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This
female victim was passive during sexual intercourse. Her behavior was most likely intended as a form of nonverbal
rejection, psychological withdrawal, or denial of the traumatic incident.
Interviewee 11 recalled:
“Actually,
she was almost motionless. It
was almost like undressing a mannequin.
She didn’t move....There was no assistance given whatsoever.
I’m unbuttoning everything.
I slipped her shoes off...the whole 9 yards.
She was virtually motionless.”
“We started kissin' again; I started kissin' her again.
Laid back down on the couch.
Started
rubbin' on her. Well, she
didn't stop me. She finally
gave in; we had sex.”
In
spite of all her rejections of the sex offender’s advances, this female
victim was finally forced to succumb to his relentless pursuit.
The perpetrator added that the fact that he was the boyfriend of
her closest friend left her depressed by what she thought was her betrayal
of that friend.
Interviewee
13 recalled his victim’s behavior in response to the situation.
He said she was:
“Just
staring off into space. I
asked her what was wrong, and she said ‘I can’t believe I did that.’ So, I think that was pretty much an indication that she was
upset with herself. She felt
guilty.”
This sex offender
did not report to me that he experienced similar feelings of guilt for his
unfaithfulness to his girlfriend.
Ironically,
the person who should have been absolved from responsibility for the
deceit was shackled with shame for having sex with her best friend’s
dating partner.
Common Phrase Patterns
That’s
when she more or less said “Okay.” [Interviewee 2]
So,
at that point, I think to some degree she gave in.
[Interviewee 11]
She
finally gave in; we had sex.
[Interviewee
13]
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I
find the language, and the tentative quality of it, disturbing.
These sex offenders observed and reported their female victims to
be half-hearted in their approval.
This
is apparent with terms like, “more or less,” “to some degree,” and
“finally.”
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Even more
troubling are the terms, “Okay,” and “she gave in,” indicating a
basic rejection to the sexual initiatives.
Only after undue and unwarranted pressure did female victims relent
to the males’ self-centered demands for sexual satisfaction.
In these situations, the date rapist appeared to pursue his victim
aggressively and relentlessly to the point of her physical exhaustion.
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His focus, strong will, and likely superior physical strength made
this inevitable. Once she was
literally too exhausted to continue fighting, he interpreted her failure
to actively protest as consent.
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In
terms of the way he was likely socialized to adult life, he had just
proven or reinforced his manhood.
The
situation is not unlike that of a cat and mouse pursuit where the cat
repeatedly pounces on the mouse until its sheer physical size and strength
render the mouse exhausted. In
these date rape situations, the victim was worn down in the same manner.
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