Masculinity

On This Page:

• Socialization Perceptions of Manhood
• Mixing "Manhood" with "Control"
• Conclusions

Sociological Context

• Masculinity
• Control
• Social Exchange Mentality
• Peer Group Pressure

Table of Contents

• Home
• Mission Statement
• Recommendations for Date Rape Prevention
• Student Based Scripts and Advice ("Red Flags")
• Female Testimonies
• Recommendations for Prison Rehabilitation Therapy and Educational Programs for Schools
• Research Findings

• Biographical Information About Perpetrators
• Model of Date Rape Factors
• Conclusions   
• References

• Statistical Data
• Advice on Self-Assertiveness
• Trauma
• Women's Centers and National Organizations

  Socialization: Perceptions of Manhood

• As I asked the sexual assault perpetrators questions about specific developments during their date rape incidents, I discovered that often their underlying reasoning for a specific behavior was grounded in their socialization. 

• In particular, the participant interviewees would discuss in a rather inadvertent manner how they perceived manhood.  Even though the perspectives often seemed skewed to me, I could see how these men were influenced by their experiences as they grew to be adults and matured as individuals. 

• These basic philosophies toward life and human relationships are contextually significant in understanding the date rapists’ words and actions during the sexual assault. 

For instance, Interviewee 10 explained how control is associated with masculinity as well as male and female relationships:

I wanted that control.  I've always had a big problem in controlling my relationships.  I wanted them to go the way I wanted them to go.  If it didn't, well, I'd find another one I could control.  To make all decisions [is what control means].  What's going to happen, and so forth.  I've always pictured the man as the head of the household.  That's basically where I took it.  I was the man; the woman's supposed to do what I want.  If I couldn't find that behavior in that particular woman, I'd move on to another one, if I could....That's what I learned from my family.  The little bit I did know, my father--that's the kind of behavior I seen him do to my stepmother.  The same with my uncles.  They were very aggressive with my aunts.  [They] would get belligerent.  Groping.  If [they] didn't get it the way [they] wanted it, you know…[they] had to have that control.  That's just the way I thought it should be.

Interviewee 14 expressed a similar attitude in explaining how past experiences molded his view:

In a male-female relationship, you know, I see the male in control.  I mean, that’s one of my problems--control.  The man is supposed to be in control.  I want control.  And, with a male/female, it’s supposed to be 50/50.  I know this, but I still want that control.  I really don’t know why.  It’s just...that’s the way it is....A lot of this stuff, I learned from my grandpa.  I’d be sittin’ at his house.  Him and grandma have been married for...I can’t even remember when they weren’t.  And he’d be watching TV, and he’d tell my grandma “Why don’t you get up and switch the channels on my TV?”  And, she’d do it, you know.  And, I’m like “What do you mean? I thought she bought that TV.”  He'd say, “She bought it for me.”  And I'd ask, “What, you ain’t sharing with her?”  He’s like, “No, that’s my TV.”  And, that’s kind of how I feel.  What’s mine is mine, and she’s mine, too.

 

  Mixing "Manhood" with "Control"

• This interweaving of manhood and control as a predominantly defining characteristic or quality of manhood can be seen as yet another variable in contextually explaining date rape incidents. 

• In a rather cryptic transcript excerpt, a participant described why he could not discontinue his sexual aggression against the female victim.  His explanation exhibits the philosophical entanglement of masculinity, control, and sexual desire. 

It was Interviewee 11 who recalled his thinking after she had said  “Stop!”:

But, I’m too far now, and she’s allowing me to undress her.  And, so, what else am I going to do? If I back up, is she going to think I’m not a man?...I guess that, growing up in the city, growing up in the streets, you hear there are certain things a man’s supposed to do.  There are certain ideas that, a man is not a man unless he does certain things [like] responding to an invitation or any kind of a come-on, if you’re interested.  But, you know, you have to, somehow or another you feel you have to validate yourself or make yourself masculine by showing that "I can perform" and that "I’m going to respond to my hormones and I’m going to respond to yours because I am a man.  I have that capability, I have that power."  But, if I fail to do that, then I’m not masculine--I may as well be a eunuch or something.  You know, “I wanted him and he didn’t know what to do."  You know, we have these ideas.  I had the ideas, growing up as a teenager, when a girl would say she liked you, that’s supposed to mean “she wants you.”  It may not mean that at all.  I mean, “wants you sexually.” But, you think, “She likes me, and I have to prove I’m a man, don’t I?  So I have to come through with something.”

 

  Conclusions

• I interpret this statement as a convoluted and individualistic rationalization of the sex offender’s behavior, as well as a reinforcement of the rape myth that a woman’s rejection of a man’s sexual initiative is not sincere. 

• In addition, I believe it is representative of the controlling human nature of masculinity commonly perceived and exhibited by date rapists, combined with the self-centeredness attribute previously profiled.

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