Animal Dialects

Good science fiction doesn't necessarily have to venture into outer space. We have our resident aliens right here: our furry (and not so furry) friends (and other nonhuman Terrans).

Harlan Ellison, Dean Koontz, and others have featured talking dogs. Dolphins abound. LeGuin's "therolinguists" discussed the languages of ants and penguins....

Of course, none of these creatures actually has the ability to use human language... but what if they did?...

An in-class exercise required students to elaborate animal dialects, taking the following considerations into account:

• Does this species have a similar enough vocal tract to speak English as we do?
  • If so, what sort of species "accent" would they have?
  • If not, how will they use English to communicate with us?
• How might this animal's grammar differ from ours? What concepts might they want to express that we don't have words for? What words would they invent to express these concepts?
• What would this species have to say to humans? How would their speech reflect a different view of the world?

GIRAFFES

• Wired vocal tracts at the bottom of neck allow them to be heard.
• They have no sense of individuality (herd animals), so always speak in 3rd person plural.
• Derogatory term for "low-life ground eaters"="shrubbies."
• They words to distinguish the top of the tree from the bottom.
• The giraffe in chief is referred to as "his highness."
• The words for "cool" and "tall" are identical.
• Words to distinguish eating for an hour, eating for three hours, eating as soon as you wake,....

LIONS

• No labial sounds. Really wide, long vowels. Growling, roaring.
• Writing system: scratch into clay tablets with index claw.
• Special words for hunting (no such thing as sport kills), which member of the pride does what.
• 100 different concepts for sleep. They have words for special states of sleep, like right before waking up, early afternoon sleep, light sleep, sleep before hunt, late afternoon sleep.... "Sleep" can modify any word (as can "hungry").
• Special words for rotting food & fresh food.
• Mostly verbs (action-oriented). Few pronouns.
• No real word order, but special endings for subjects and verbs.
• They consider humans fellow predators and therefore enemies. They wonder what our prey is, and how we can get anything down our throats with such small teeth?
• They have a rigid caste system and strong gender differences. The hunting words are all feminine, and they have more words that show respect for females.

SQUIRRELS

• Talk very fast, high pitch.
• Paranoid, nervous, melodramatic, suicidal.
• Different words for varying degrees of fear, different descriptions of trees.
• Different words for green & brown (tik, gik).
• Different directional words.
• Squirrel word for "you-didn't-see-me."
• Short, compact, terse words are repeated over and over.
• No word for walk, run, jump or move(movement is implied).
• No past tense.
• They speak in code most of the time.
• They don't want to communicate with us -- but we can eavesdrop on them by recording their speech and slowing it down.

COCKROACHES

• No vocal tract. They spell words out in groups, or use Morse code.
• They leave out linking verbs & articles.
• They have more words for garbage, flight, family relations. Words for hiding, body parts (6 legs).
• They tell humans "Don't kill us," but they're arrogant, knowing that they'll survive nuclear holocaust.

RATS

• They squeak out Morse code.
• They have special prefixes and suffixes denoting relative size.
• They use "Clipped Rat" style for sneaking around.
• They call weak rat poison "snack," and strong rat poison "S.O.S."
• Only one word for places to hide, "shelter."
• Only one word for any kind of food, "food."
• They find our metaphors about rats offensive.
• There's general hostility towards humans ("The Man"). Certain minority rat groups are less hostile (pet rats, lab rats), and they have a different dialect.

KANGAROOS

• High-pitched accent. Bouncy, jittery speech. Australian accent.
• They use nouns and verbs only, no articles and few adjectives.
• They have a special word for joeys in the pouch.
• Special words for humans (walkers) and the way we move.
• They are very naive and curious. They ask a lot of questions -- why we eat meat, where our children come from,...

FLIES

• They use three different methods to communicate: typing on a micro-keyboard, Morse code, flapping their wings.
• Very abbreviated speech. No articles; adjectives only as an afterthought. Ex.: "Food there go now."
• They have no concept of singular because of their eyes.
• They have a different concept of metamorphosis (which we can't understand).
• "Qqzzq" means rancid meat of the third degree. (Since they're always spelling, the words they invent don't have to be pronounceable.)
• Due to their short lives, flies have no time to chit chat with humans. Their very fatalistic view of the world would affect their speech.

BEARS

• Gruff tone of voice with rolled & slurred "r".
• Words for hunting strategies.
• Derogatory terms for humans ("bares," "no furs").
• More specific terms for hibernation (e.g. "quantum sleep").
• They would be very angry about the destruction of other bears and of their habitat. They would have an angry, rude tone.

PIGEONS

• They use their beaks to write.
• Grammar is simplified, but specific. They don't need complex or abstract ideas. They have no verb tenses (no differentiation between past, present future).
• Many weather words, words for speed & types of flight (specialized motion).
• Would draw maps rather than using words for directions.(Would tell other pigeons where newly washed cars are.)
• Words for rain (e.g. drizzly rain, Godspit, etc.)
• Different dialects for city & country pigeons.
• Would tell humans, "Feed me! Give me something other than bird seed!"

ELEPHANTS

• Nasal speech. They trumpet with their trunk & use the trunk for sign language.
• A complete grammar (not simplified).
• They have more words for underground water, different relationships concerning predator/prey & the family.
• "Home" refers to the elephants' whole range, not a specific place.
• Specific nouns will be given to ranks in the hierarchy.
• A different vocabulary for mating.
• Elephants would be very domineering. Because of their size, they would probably tell us what they will or will not do, and what they expect in return.

What about cows? skunks? pigs? Oh, how I wish we had more time....

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